For those who don't know (which is probably most), when we moved down to Phoenix in the middle of July we were still in the process of trying to buy a house. The one that we thought we were going to buy wasn't working out, and neither was trying to house hunt from Iowa (go figure). So we came out to Phoenix a few weeks early to start the process all over again.
We really thought we'd found the house for us, but again, it just wasn't happening for us. After six weeks in the hotel and multiple freak outs from yours truly, we decided that we needed to get out of the hotel...meaning we needed to start looking for apartments. Our original thought was to only stay for a couple months while we continued the home search...
We found an apartment near school and moved in two days later. After being in the apartment for just a night or so, both of us began feeling that this is really where we're supposed to stay (for longer than our current three month lease). After talking it out and praying, we decided for sure that this apartment is our new home for the indefinite future.
Is it disappointing to not have a house? In a way, yes. But we know that we're following the path that we're being led to. If you told me two weeks ago that I wouldn't have a house, I would've been devastated. Really. But I'm perfectly happy and content here. We may not have a house right now, but we do have a home.
Anyway, the revelation that we would be here for a while has led to much more painting and decorating and organizing and such. We're finally on the downhill jog of that process now, which brings me back to the whole point of this blog.
I'm working very part time right now from home doing some writing and layout for William Penn, and a small part of me has been wondering what I'll be doing with myself - or more correctly I've been wondering what others will be thinking about what I'm doing with myself - once the home is put together. I won't have nearly as many projects to undertake as I would if we were in a house...but we know that my working like this is the right decision for us, in part because of my volatile health.
But last night something happened to make me realize why I need to be home. We know I'll stay home once we have kids, but this reaffirmed to me that this is right, even before then. It was something small, and yet something I'll choose not to share. It crystallized to me, though, just how much work Travis is undertaking right now (yes, I was aware that he was going to be crazy busy, but sometimes things just finally click, you know?). He's in school from 8-5 basically, and then he comes home and does three hours of homework. It's intense. And unfortunately, I know it's only going to get worse. And yes, that does scare me a bit.
My point is that his focus obviously needs to be on his schoolwork now, and for the next several years as well. And if I hope to have any real time with him, the other things in our life need to already be taken care of. Things like taking care of the house, doing the shopping, paying the bills, making dinner and cleaning up...
One of us in this relationship needs to have our wits about us, and for the next several years, it's my turn to pull the weight. And in order to be here for him and take care of those things, in order to keep our relationship strong, I need to just be at home.
When I got that new perspective last night, it made me feel so much better about our decision. I know this is right. And I'm really looking forward to serving Travis during this time. He's done so much for me during our first year and a half of marriage; now it's my turn.
And that's how it is.
