Home update

So, we're making serious progress on the apartment now! The chaotic tornado wreckage that had been our home for the last two weeks is clearing up and, lo and behold, it actually looks like a home now (gasp!)...and I have to laugh because now the living room almost looks empty without all the boxes... ... ... I'll get used to it.

But being me, of course, I've now decided that half of the study needs to be repainted, because the color's just not right. *sigh* Sometimes I wish that I wasn't so particular about these things. But then I remember that I like this stuff, and I like making our home. So it's worth it. =]

I'll post pictures when everything's completely in place. Probably not till this weekend, since our new sleeper sofa doesn't get delivered till Friday (yes, now we have a way to house visitors, so by all means, come on down!).

And that's how it is.

Clarity

I had one of those moments last night. You know the kind...the ones that remind you of why you're doing what you're doing; the ones that reignite your determination, your resolve...

For those who don't know (which is probably most), when we moved down to Phoenix in the middle of July we were still in the process of trying to buy a house. The one that we thought we were going to buy wasn't working out, and neither was trying to house hunt from Iowa (go figure). So we came out to Phoenix a few weeks early to start the process all over again.

We really thought we'd found the house for us, but again, it just wasn't happening for us. After six weeks in the hotel and multiple freak outs from yours truly, we decided that we needed to get out of the hotel...meaning we needed to start looking for apartments. Our original thought was to only stay for a couple months while we continued the home search...

We found an apartment near school and moved in two days later. After being in the apartment for just a night or so, both of us began feeling that this is really where we're supposed to stay (for longer than our current three month lease). After talking it out and praying, we decided for sure that this apartment is our new home for the indefinite future.

Is it disappointing to not have a house? In a way, yes. But we know that we're following the path that we're being led to. If you told me two weeks ago that I wouldn't have a house, I would've been devastated. Really. But I'm perfectly happy and content here. We may not have a house right now, but we do have a home.

Anyway, the revelation that we would be here for a while has led to much more painting and decorating and organizing and such. We're finally on the downhill jog of that process now, which brings me back to the whole point of this blog.

I'm working very part time right now from home doing some writing and layout for William Penn, and a small part of me has been wondering what I'll be doing with myself - or more correctly I've been wondering what others will be thinking about what I'm doing with myself - once the home is put together. I won't have nearly as many projects to undertake as I would if we were in a house...but we know that my working like this is the right decision for us, in part because of my volatile health.

But last night something happened to make me realize why I need to be home. We know I'll stay home once we have kids, but this reaffirmed to me that this is right, even before then. It was something small, and yet something I'll choose not to share. It crystallized to me, though, just how much work Travis is undertaking right now (yes, I was aware that he was going to be crazy busy, but sometimes things just finally click, you know?). He's in school from 8-5 basically, and then he comes home and does three hours of homework. It's intense. And unfortunately, I know it's only going to get worse. And yes, that does scare me a bit.

My point is that his focus obviously needs to be on his schoolwork now, and for the next several years as well. And if I hope to have any real time with him, the other things in our life need to already be taken care of. Things like taking care of the house, doing the shopping, paying the bills, making dinner and cleaning up...

One of us in this relationship needs to have our wits about us, and for the next several years, it's my turn to pull the weight. And in order to be here for him and take care of those things, in order to keep our relationship strong, I need to just be at home.

When I got that new perspective last night, it made me feel so much better about our decision. I know this is right. And I'm really looking forward to serving Travis during this time. He's done so much for me during our first year and a half of marriage; now it's my turn.

And that's how it is.

Disclaimer...

I feel the need to state vehemently that I am a happy person. I feel like I take to my blog mostly when I'm upset or overwhelmed by things, which I think makes me come off as a grumpy or miserable person.

And that's no good.

For me, my blog is a sort of therapy. I don't like to complain to people. But we've all got problems plaguing us and it does no good to just bottle them up. I have no idea who reads my blog or how well you know me... so my venting could be dangerous. But please know, this is my way to let off steam, so I can continue to be my happy self.

Just thought I should mention that.

As a side note, I just want to say that my prayers are with the family and friends of Ed Thomas right now. What a wonderful, wonderful man.

One thing at a time...

I believe in 'one thing at a time'. That's always been my philosophy. Probably because that's what people have always told me....whenever I would start getting ahead of myself, that's what they would say. "One thing at a time, Katy." And I listened.

But what happens when life doesn't follow the same game plan? When it doesn't come at you one thing at a time, but rather it hurls as many things as it possibly can at you all at the same time? It's like you're standing there with a tennis racket in your hand, trying desperately to hit the ball as it's served to you by one of those power machines that throws them out in rapid succession. Sure, you can hit one or two here and there...but what about the others? They just go flying by.

You've only got one racket.

So much for one thing at a time.

So many questions running through my mind, so many decisions that have to be made, and made yesterday. But really, the decisions I can handle. I can do those one at a time.

But what about the things that I have absolutely no control over?... Some would say don't worry about them if there's nothing I can do.

Oh, if life were so simple.

I may not have control over some things in my life, but they're still things that affect every single day of my life, things that I'm trying to influence and find answers for every night when I can't sleep. And I still come up empty-handed. But I can't just sit back. These are perhaps the most important questions in my life. How do I leave those alone?

And again, they're all right here, right now, bombarding me, trying to coerce answers and hopes and questions and theories and decisions from me. I don't know how to follow the 'one thing at a time' mantra anymore. I don't know if it works after all or not.

I need a magic lamp or crystal ball or a time machine. Or something. Something....

There's No Place Like Home...

Unbelievable! It really, truly is.

With med school and residencies, I wasn't expecting us to have the chance to own a home for a least another decade. And besides the longing for a place to call our own, knowing what that would (or rather, wouldn't) do for us financially was killing me.

And now, the stars have aligned, and it's happening. We're going to get a home in Arizona. Which means we're going to be picking one out in April when we go down there. As in four weeks from now. OMG! A house. Of our own. This is so insane!

So now, we are officially house hunting! What a cool thing to say... and we are so amazingly happy about it! What a wonderful blessing.

And that's how it is.

She Who Wields the Scissors...

...holds the world in her hands. Or at least the world according to the person in their chair.

So what when that person is yourself? It may be one of the most terrifying, and simultaneously liberating, experiences you'll ever have. Really.

Now I'm not a person who freaks out about hair. In my opinion, it'll grow out, or you can style it differently, or you can dye it back. There are, however, a few instances when I change my tune.

Say, like when the hair dresser dyed my hair black. And I mean black. Twice this happened. But that's a different story, for a different time.

Now, I've never attempted to cut anyone's hair before in my life (including my own, or even a dog's), so this was pretty bold on my part. I'd been thinking about bangs for a while now, and finally decided late tonight to go for it.

We bought a pair of shears earlier this week so that I can attempt to cut Travis' hair (to save money on trips to the salon), but I haven't gotten around to actually doing that yet. And who better to practice on than myself, right?

So at midnight, I walked into the bathroom and snipped away. It was a bit harrowing - what if I completely screwed this up? We are talking about the hair right at the front of my head - but it was also fantastic. And it just got better after the first snip.

Now, I not only feel super chic and sexy, but I feel powerful. I created something artistic and beautiful, and I did it without any input from anyone else. I just did. And I love the result. It's me, and it's fabulous.

And that's how it is.